katerina, friday

personal uniform: things to consider

• seasons: (1) spring + autumn, (2) summer, (3) winter
• fibres (connected to seasons): wool, cashmere for winter; cotton, linen, silk for summer; combinations inbetween?
• fabrics and materials (cotton can be denim, corduroy, poplin, knit, jersey...)
• colors (can be connected to the seasons)
• layering
• 'areas' of life now / 'ideal' 'areas' ~someday

approaches to uniforms i've ecountered

• all one color (most often black)
• 'classic' and timeless pieces that are not so likely to be discontinued / changed massively / can be sourced second-hand (think levis 501, barbour jackets)
• one style of an item in multiples

notes

• make an effort to (at least) limit synthetic materials; problematic areas: activewear, shoes, oddly socks and underwear, thermals, puffer and quilted jackets
• make an effort to (at least) limit non-local materials (cotton, cashmere, silk); best options for central europe: wool, linen, hemp (?)
• long term goal would be to eliminate them completely
• where on the spectrum of 'eliminating choice and saving that energy for other things' on one side vs 'tailoring clothing for personality and it's different moods' on the other am i?; rn i'm thinking similar patterns in different fabrics and a few color choices (wide-leg trousers in wool and linen, in light and dark)

research areas

• wtf is: local
• 'importance' or 'necessity' of elastane and other synthetic fibres in socks and underwear
• traditional clothing in different cultures, look for similarities

i've been quite conscious about who i'm letting into my life and personal space for a while now, after years of being confused in various different relationships and unknown reasons (at least to me) for their slow deteriorating and bending my mind over it over and over; and it's amazing how i can just spot and feel 'ease' now with the ~right people, when neither mine nor their behaviour makes me negatively overthink for hours, days, weeks; this sort of feeling is very rare for me and probably always will be, but i find it astronomically precious

sitting on a rock in the city, looking at the river from which the sunshine is mirroring; sparkling on my face

in the middle of yet another co-living flatsharing 'crisis' and i'm asking how is a single person supposed to navigate living somewhere, in every single place i've lived long-term was some kind of situation like this, in general i've became quite disillusioned with actions of others in the last ~2 years and i get that we're all living in this system that's making us act a certain way, but is there really not a common ground we could establish to at least try to fight it?

on a more positive note, i made an absolute top notch tiramisu and am very proud of it

the loneliness in the city is different to the lonely feelings out of it

going on preventative gynaecology-related check ups is, how i see it, a way of bonding between me and my mum – today we went to get our breasts checked. i then randomly wanted to source an issue of a magazine called 'heroine', which turned out to be quite difficult. i haven't bought a magazine for a long while, but always loved the regularity and physicality of it. i was partially raised by w.i.t.c.h., bravo girl, elle and vogue (that turned out to have more of a reverse psychology effect though), 'classics' of women-targeted magazines back then.

on the way back my mum was telling me about her experience with doctors, how they treated her when she had a miscarriage, what sort of issues and behaviours she had to deal with. the doctor at the diagnostic center when we had the check up is super sweet, making the whole process almost-pleasant, which is, even in my experience, an exception. while spreading the jelly over my boobs, she was commenting on the coldness of the liquid, that even her fingers get cold from it and how it's weird because it stays in the warm room all the time. i told her it feels a bit 'minty' in a sense, while looking at a photograph of some generic landscape on the wall.

i'm now going through the magazine, which has articles related to the political issues of abortions, about giving women back the control over their pregnancy and the process of giving birth back or the stigma of not wanting to have children at all. it has a beautiful fashion story by my favourite artist shot in and around her beautiful house in the north of the country.

there's obviously a lot of advertising bs but that's not stopping me from being emotional over it all.

i don't know if it's sexist to think this way lol, but i still see how people in (at least) the generation of my parents are living in a completely different set of views than, well, me. my cousin gave birth to a little boy a few weeks ago, and my aunt together with my mum were amazed that her husband is so helpful and kind to her, melting over that he's 'even' washing her bloody underwear. how's it possible we're still surprised by this? why are women still expected by some people to get through it all alone, even in their post-partum body and mind?

it just makes me so angry and sad.

• blood oranges
• exhibitions often turn out to be significantly inferior to are.na browse and research

started to learn comptine d'un autre été from amelie on the piano today. both the song and the movie were quite forming for me, it kind of seems like an emancipation? i got it recommended by a certain person when i was at my mid-teens, a guy who played the electronic keybord then. don't know if he still does, he's no longer actively present in my life. i still can't hear the soundtrack without thinking of him, don't even feel cringey for being pathetic lol.

~one decade later, he's still among the most precious people i've ever had the chance to know.

planning vs planting

• my back is still quite weak even though i thought most of the pain is over
• it comes back quickly when i stop being mindful about posture and sitting situation
• thinking about things i don't have control over
• thinking about things i do have control over
• how i manage it depends heavily on my cycle
• often the tiniest things drain me of all my energy
• probably because i overthink it too much
• because everything can be a possible minefield
• ordered black onyx and crystal beads to make necklaces with
• want to find some witchy books for autumn
• appreciating slowness
• one day at a time

• spend ~24 hours in the city
• feel like i don't belong there anymore
• did i ever or was it just a delulu
• most of the ties are loosened
• if not completely gone
• i'm not getting most of it
• what is a place one belongs to?
• does it have to be a place?
• wtf is: a place
• instead of a place i feel… a void rn
• maybe i should slowly fill it with something
• idk i'm tired

• woke up early and almost immediately had a yoga session outside again
• for lunch i made a sauce from scratch with tomatoes i picked in the garden and chose rigatoni pasta to go with it
• bought fresh bread, olives, pasta and vanocka <3
• sourced materials and then sew a kind of witchy looking accessory with important help from my mum for a ball i'm attending this week
• planning to sew some scrunchies next from my old silk t-shirt
• vanocka with butter and apricot jam for supper <33

• the mist was lifting up from the garden when i was doing yoga on the balcony
• walked in the garden while drinking tea
• was feeling quite bad for pretty much the whole day
• binged a stupid teenage rom com series
• found myself crying a few times during
• not a great day overall

• had a yoga and meditation (almost) sunrise session on a balcony i now call my own
• mornings are starting to be quite cold
• got anxious and stressed while making breakfast which 'helped' to set the mood for the entire day
• managed to write something
• after maybe an hour searching for a song that would feel like it's physically punching my brain
• found it
• did a few new research pages on my website
• got suddenly overwhelmed by the structure getting more complicated (wtf?)
• continued to be overwhelmed
• now with everything
• came back to researching pmdd connection to whatever
• taking care of my body and mind feels hard rn

• craved a savoury breakfast for some reason?
• rearranged a few shelves and things
• put my piano on display so i'm not forgetting about it and maybe play on it a little sometimes
• tried to put cardamom instead of cinnamon in an apple strudel
• it's nice but it should probably be a different kind of pastry, e.g. a bun
• moral: strudel is strudel
• finished reading the autistic – women on the spectrum by clara törnvall, gave it 5 stars
• went on a bike ride while listening to my lady but i'm dancing like a hoe playlist and loved. it. so. much
• also thinking about my ~week in the city, observing some feelings and overall tiredness
• nevertheless going back in a while
• going to make myself a dinner now
• probably something savoury with a slice of cardamom strudel

• had a birthday
• wtf is: birthday!
• wore the dress
• successfully used the look up – plant function in photos
• did the annual cake photoshoot (tm) with my mum
• my younger brother randomly gave me a fraction of a bitcoin without warning???
• became too emotional during a political discussion around a fireplace as it goes :')
• feeling nice and tired anyway

originally marked this with 3 exclamation marks!

Both social capitalism and digital feudalism are forms of asymmetricality in power, which is anathematic to socialisation and establishing any kind of relationship or mutual trust, allowing one to write whatever and repress anyone seeking to hold them accountable. It is no less important to abolish social asymmetry than it is to abolish asymmetry in computer systems, and a decentralised computer system cannot try to enforce the former with the latter. While the demands ten years ago may have been to establish decentralised networks, we now demand social decentralisation of the resulting networks which only exhibit decentralisation in computer networks.

— Software and Anarchy (Gnuxie Lulamoon and Hayley Patton)

• tried on a dress i generally feel really good in (have it in 2 colors)
• cooked a shakshuka for lunch
• finished reading software and anarchy
• realised i can do random stretchy yoga poses in water while reading (the water helps with balance)
• my go to summer drink apparently is iced filter coffee with a little bit of orange juice ~in the middle of the afternoon
• made a sandwich consisting of cream cheese, nectarine and thyme for supper
• made another little update to my blog <3
• rn trying to fall asleep during quite a big storm outside (the electricity went off and the local fire alarm is ringing)

• sobbed a bit watching documentation of caroline polachek joining lorde during green light at sziget
• rode bike a lot
• had good amount of sweet pastries
• sourced and bought a hyggelig lampshade
• visited a cozy kierkegaard
• dipped,
• embraced topless sunbathing and
• had the best fish burger at la banchina aka one of my favourite places in the world
• was also last day in copenhagen for a while :(